Have you ever given a gift or made a compliment and felt it needed to be received better than you would have liked?
The reason is that they may appreciate it, but it’s not their primary
language.
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is an excellent book describing how we feel loved and appreciated. Here are the 5:
Words of Affirmation:
In the One Minute Manager, Ken Blanchard said, “Catch them doing something
right and mention it.” I noticed how you handled that situation – you were excellent.”
People love compliments and recognition, but those who love language are to be affirmed -it works even more.
Quality Time:
Pick up the phone with a client or friend and check in with no agenda. Hi, you crossed my mind. How are things? Let’s pencil some time together in the diary.
Physical Touch:
This is delicate, as the boundary of inappropriateness can easily be blurred. That said, a hug -with permission or just a hand on the shoulder may be all that is needed.
Acts of Service:
Go the extra mile with your client. Save the article you read that reminds you of them and forward it. Switch the clock off and give spare time and support with that bid or proposal. Attend an appointment with an elderly family member.
Gifts:
For the 10th Anniversary of Oprah’s O’ magazine, she gifted every staff member
an Apple iPad and 10,000 dollars. We’re not all Oprah, but I recall a manager buying a present for one of my colleague’s daughters, and she burst into tears and was very overwhelmed.
This is a very light touch of the book, but listening and observing behaviours are a
a sure-fire way of understanding what is important to people.
The common adage that people buy people and do business with people we know, like, and trust is true, so understanding their love language is one of the best ways to build trust with clients or your team.
In some way or other, we all want to be understood.
