In my previous memo, I wrote about the different love languages and how they can make a difference in your work, business and personal life. 

Words of Affirmation

It’s not what you say but how you say it. 32% of people voted words of affirmation as the way they like to be appreciated by colleagues and their leaders. Generally, across genders, 20% of men over 16% of women chose words of affirmation as their favourite expression of love.

If you have identified a colleague, peer or client whose love language is words of affirmation – calling with a compliment would go a long way. Compliments work for most people, but this would have an extra impact. Imagine calling a peer to say, just read your article it was excellent, or a client to say, I liked how you managed that appraisal – very balanced.

Several years ago, I had to deliver a presentation to business owners and sell our services from the ‘stage,’ so to speak, after the presentation. It went very well, so much so that we had a record number of registrations for meetings, and to this day, I don’t recall the manager every saying to me, excellent job, Mort! It sure would have made a difference.

Myles Munroe, the Bahamian Minister and author of over 30 books, used to say in his sermons, “every day you should tell your wife that you love her, every day.” She does not want it; she needs it. The roar from the women in the congregation seemed to confirm that to be true.

That might be more about knowing your wife’s language than love language as my wife beams from ear to ear when she comes home, and the lawn has mowed, or I take her car and have it valeted.

Acts of Service

Acts of Service is doing things outside of the expected.

My aunt Florence died at 94 years of age in August 2019 – she was my 2nd mum. No other aunt could come close.

Her favourite saying was, “God does not come, but he sends.” He sent her many times. When my mum was ill, she visited from America, and they lived at my home for about a year. Her passion for serving was unequalled. She added value wherever she went. A wonderful woman.

We can serve people in many ways. It could be by rolling up your sleeves, joining the effort, helping your team meet the deadline, and not putting on your coat, and leaving them to it. They will feel much more appreciated. Alternatively, giving up your time to help a colleague or client when they are in a bind -without expecting anything in return.

Actions

What could you do this week to develop your understanding of love language?

Make a list with two columns. Write the names on one side, and in the other column, write out the associated love language for each person.

Over the next week, pick two names and communicate in their love language and see what happens.

The surprise may be that you don’t know your clients, work colleagues or family and friends as much as you think you do. Imagine how different the relationship could be if you spoke their language?

Let me know how it goes.