The language of love speaks in all languages.  This is part 3 of the 5 love languages, where I look at physical touch, gifts, and quality time.

Physical Touch

In recent years, claims of sexual misconduct and harassment has become increasingly common and for several, it has been a comeuppance, i.e., Harvey Weinstein – but the cost, in my view, is the uncertainty with relationships between colleagues or clients who may innocently be someone where a hug or touch on the shoulder is a source of comfort.

As we come out of Covid and slowly begin to mix more, how will we manage with the language of personal touch at work?

If a client or colleague is distressed, how can you console them as we are inclined to do? Will we have to ask can I hug you before doing anything?

Many years ago, one of the secretaries in our organisation was rather upset and came into my office crying.

That was a time when you could innocently give your colleague a consoling hug, but can you do that now for fear of reprisal?


This could be taking a client and their significant other out for an all-expenses-paid meal to mark an achievement or milestone. It could be giving them a voucher for a high-end restaurant or tickets to a concert of their choice.

Doing something out of the ordinary is often appreciated and remembered.

Quality time

Sometimes the best gift you can give is your time. Not a present – just your time. I recall a manager calling me years ago and said ‘Mort, you did not look good today; is everything okay?’ I was not okay, I did not go into it, but it was great that he noticed and took the time to call and ask.

The main thing is understanding what e that we like to receive may not necessarily be the love language of that person, so the intention should be to understand what their language is.

As I write this piece, I learned that even though my work is about “value” and how you measure the difference you make for clients, the most important love language is self-love.

This may be with quality time and taking time out for yourself – doing daily affirmations, buying a personal gift to mark an achievement, having a massage, or spending time with your loved ones, maybe a grandparent.

As an employee or working with clients, if you have healthy self-esteem and self-belief, you show up differently and sell your services more confidently. Loving yourself is the backbone of knowing your value.

It took me years to understand that the first act of service should be to me.


Now it’s your turn. Looking at the five love languages, which of these will you use to value and love yourself more?