Recently I was deliberating about the fee options in a proposal but was uncomfortable when it came to the fee section.

So, I did an exercise on myself to challenge the little voice in my head, and as I did the exercise, I imagined the potential client’s response – which is in quotes.
1. Firstly, I wrote down an outrageously high price for the project and “imagined the client deleting the email in fits of laughter and never hearing from them again.” (this has happened)

2. I reduced the fee again; my stomach felt really uncomfortable – “more laughter from the client.”

3. I reduced it again. This time it did feel so uncomfortable, but deep down, I knew I still didn’t have the balls to ask. It’s difficult to ask for a fee that conflicts with your self-value, even if the results you are producing are amazing, and that discomfort continues until you get used to asking for that increased fee or having that new experience.

4. I reduced it even more – easy peasy – I can confidently look the client in the eye and say it out loud. I’m worth it, dammit! The client thinks – “hmmm, didn’t think he would come in that cheap.”

But here’s the thing I want you to remember – I never thought about how much the client’s situation would improve after I had delivered my service; I was too focused on what I thought the client could afford, and In truth, I didn’t know because I hadn’t asked enough questions during our initial meetings.

The breakthrough came as I was talking the situation over with my wife, and then she asked me a question that changed everything.

“Mort, your competence is without question, but who do you need to be to ask for that fee that deep down feels uncomfortable? And if your client said yes, how would you show up? ”

I was stunned and speechless by that question and, at that moment, recognised my resistance, and she realised her resistance as well. The issue is that our beliefs influence our decisions a lot of the time.

There is a lot written about charging your worth and asking for what you want – all very valid – but in my view, that statement misses out on the fact that you need to conquer it in your heart and soul first before you can do anything.

So, as the year draws to a close and we all get to the place of reviewing how well the year has been and planning for 2023:

Let me ask you this – who do you need to be?

To attract that partner?
To run the marathon?
To lose weight?
To ask for that raise?
To increase your fees?