This was a good opportunity, my first international gig.

Keynote speaker at their yearly conference and a series of workshops. The director contacted me after reading one of my articles.

He said, “A lot of what you write resonates with the challenges we’re experiencing.” This wasn’t just a good opportunity. It was THE opportunity, and I was about to sabotage it.

I was excited… and quietly terrified.

The monkey on my shoulder was busy as my head buzzed reasons to delay.
“How much should I charge?”
“What if I ask for too much?”
“What if they say yes and I’m a disappointment ?”

As I wrote the proposal, I realised I hadn’t asked some key questions:
“What are your objectives ?”
“How will you measure success?”
“What’s the value of this to you?”

That’s when it hit me, I didn’t know my value well enough to connect their outcomes to my fee.

I wrote the proposal on Wednesday.
Reviewed it on Friday.
Saturday.
Sunday.
Telling myself: “I’ll send it first thing Monday morning.”

But i didn’t

“Later today, after one more check.”

I was procrastinating.

Because deep down, I was terrified they’d say no and confirm every quiet doubt I already had. By Monday evening, I had to have a serious word with myself, as I could see I was slowly sabotaging the very opportunity I’d worked hard for.

I decided I was not going to leave the office until I sent it.”

I read it one more time.

Stared at my fee.

The temptation to reduce it was overwhelming, and to be honest, I don’t know how I didn’t. My hand hovered over the mouse. I closed my eyes and pressed click.

For a moment, I wanted to recall the email, but it was too late.

I went home, and all evening it played on my mind. The next morning, I opened my inbox.

“Thanks for sending this through. Looks good, happy to go ahead.”

Just like that.

Days of worrying. Second-guessing and questioning my value.

And their response was a simple yes.

That’s when I started to understand:
The problem wasn’t on their end. It was me.

I’d spent days doubting myself, wondering if I was good enough, while they’d already decided.

In the end, it was a success and a participants from one of the workshops invited me back to work with their entire leadership team.

That’s when I learned something powerful: Clients often decide long before you realise. It’s up to you not to talk yourself out of winning the business.

Know your value.

Until we meet

Morton