It is my experience that understanding yourself is crucial in the type of relationships you have and how you develop your business relationships.

• If you’re a control freak at home, it will show up in some way at work
• If you’re sloppy in some element of your work, you will lack attention
to detail
• If you don’t speak up and boundaries are often violated, they are likely
not firmly in place at work or in business.
• If you’re often late for appointments or meetings, you likely miss

In my work about value, I have learned that my personal value is the most important step. My hero’s journey is developing the habits outlined below, it isn’t easy, and I work on it every day.

Keep your word:
Doing what you say you will do if you cannot explain. Keeping your word is essential in building trust in relationships and is critical for excellent service, and it does not bode well personally or professionally if you’re unreliable.

A personal example of this is making promises to children. When you make a promise to a child  – keep it. They believe you when you say tomorrow we’re going swimming,’ and unless the world ends, you had better keep that promise- as being your word will be the bedrock of your relationship in the future.

It’s not something to be taken lightly.

Having clear boundaries is an excellent representative of your personal line – what you’re prepared to accept or not, for that matter. It is one of the most critical steps in a value-based relationship, as it takes courage and commitment to establish them.

We feel valued when our boundaries are respected, such as being spoken to and treated respectfully. The violation of your boundaries can make or break relationships, and that is why it’s essential to establish them early. I remember my sister saying to me –’ start as you mean to go on.’

Tony A. Gaskins Jr said, “You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” I agree.

Putting yourself first: 
There is an old Jamaican quote –”give away your arse and shit through your ribs” It’s true. In translation, you give to others at the cost of yourself. You miss family events because work comes first. You lend more money than you can afford to.

There is a personal experience that stuck with me for many years. While doing my degree, we had to get a recommended book and fortunately, I was the first to find it in the library.

At the same time, one of the fellow students came along, and I noticed two copies. Before looking at it and taking my copy, I first handed the book to him, and I gut-wrenchingly realised that he had the latest edition. Make sure you are ok first, as it’s not a selfish act.

From a business perspective, there is a great book – “Profit First’ by Mike Michalowicz where he talks about taking your profit first and spending what remains on expenses. A recommended book.

Speaking up:
Value yourself and your opinion. Become known for someone who stands firm in their views and beliefs and will confidently defend them and not sway like the branch in a tree. It is also about believing in the value of your opinion and having the confidence to speak up in meetings and stop choosing to suffer in silence.

Managing your money:
Our money script probably comes from how our family interacted with money.

Do you manage your personal finance well – where you know how and when you’ve spent your money, or do you find talking about money really uncomfortable and brings you out in cold sweats?

If you do, it’s likely to show up in your business relationships and negotiations, where talking about your fees is uncomfortable, you fail to submit invoices on time, and probably undercharged for your services.

These elements of personal value all contribute to knowing your worth, as I believe this is the first part of that famous phrase – know thyself