I’m writing this from Guyana, at a family reunion where over 200 relatives have gathered from America, Canada, the UK to celebrate a family tree that stretches back to the early 1800s.

Our great-great-grandparents, Alexander Kwame Cambridge and Lisa Viola Johnson-Cambridge, were born during the last years of slavery, which was abolished in Guyana (then British Guiana) under the British Slavery Abolition Act.

The act went into effect on August 1, 1834.

However, total freedom was delayed by a transitional “apprenticeship” system. Full and complete emancipation was achieved on August 1, 1838, when that apprenticeship period officially ended.

They met in 1860s and went on to have eight children. My grandmother was one of them.

I travelled with my sister Kaye and her two children for the first reunion of its kind: a fun day, a gala evening, meet and greet was all part of the reunion. Over 200 people showed up.

Ninety per cent of those people I didn’t know. Of the ten per cent, we already knew each other but here’s the thing about reunions like this: we’re often good for “so great to see you,” and then we move on. Nice, warm, forgettable.

Setting an Intention
Before I left London, I set myself one intention: take a genuine interest in everyone I spoke to. Here’s what that produced.

We tend to avoid asking what might seem like deeply personal questions, about illness or bereavement because it feels intrusive.

One of my cousins is caring for her husband, who has dementia. I asked her about it and he told me how hard it is, and then I asked the question that we often avoid: “How are you doing?” That’s when she opened up. I wish we’d had more time.

But it’s in the asking that you build something real.

In another conversation, I learned a cousin had served in the special forces and, after retiring, built a successful engineering business.

Another had been a swimming champion, then a lifeguard, then a fireman and I learned far more about him than I expected to.

What confirmed everything for me, though, was what happened just before the fun day ended: that same cousin came and found me, he said I just wanted to finish off telling you my story about becoming a firman.

Another cousin has a PhD and trains theatre nurses. Another is a Dean at a college in Cincinnati. There are some seriously accomplished people in this family tree.

All of that surfaced because I asked. Because I went past “hi, great to see you.”

Building trust and connection with clients
Years ago, I walked into a client meeting with an agenda: specific things to cover, a session with a shape I’d already decided on. But something was off as i started to listen to her.

My client seemed low and distracted, and as I listened, she kept referring to a member of staff she was having a challenge with.

I sensed she would not be fully present; I closed my notebook and said, “Tell me more.” She talked. I asked clarifying questions and listened. Nothing more. The next day she emailed to thank me for simply listening.

That’s the whole point: the client drives the session, not you. And that same principle is a fundamental prerequisite of the Practice Revenue Calculator. (PRC._

You cannot use the PRC well without first building sufficient trust and connection to earn the right to ask deep, revealing questions. Their questions: numbers, fees, their gaps. Your client has to feel safe to go there.

They have to trust you to go to that level of personal detail and sharing, and then you can demonstrate how investing in your services can deliver the results they want and the rate of return on that investment.

The Point
Dale Carnegie indicated across his full body of work that you become interesting by being interested in others, and it holds up.

It is my belief that we all want people to take an interest in us, and the slightest curious question can open Pandora’s box of similarities, shared history, unexpected achievement, grief someone’s been carrying alone, and all things unexpected, which can deepen your relationship.

Admittedly, you can’t do this with everyone, all the time, but make it an intention whenever you can in your business and personal relatioinsihps, it’s the difference that makes the difference.

We just don’t take the time to ask.

If you want to see how the Practice Revenue Calculator can help you convert clients, book a meeting here

Until we meet.

Morton